Sunday, November 16

such a perfect day, im glad i spent it with you

hey, its kinda been a while since i last wrote (je suis tres desolee). i feel like ive had no spare time to myself at all lately. work work school work.
ohh & i went to a party last night. twas very good, finished off what remained of my summertime pimms & helped someone who was ill. hehe. lovely evening!

i never used to think that kate moss was beautiful, but i think i may have changed my mind..

google images & flickr

hope everyone had a nice weekend.

ohh & heres a theory... dont you agree that if girls were boys they would make excellent boyfriends? & also.. it can be argued that if boys were girls that they probably wouldn't be great girlfriends? perhaps?

ohh got some homework to do. & ironing :(


Monday, November 10

everything looks perfect from far away..

ahh. today was.. a monday. & a school day. it was a day.

in a very uncharacteristic move, i skipped geography today (my teacher was off & we don't do anything when they're away). but, my sad little self kicked in again & i spent my extra free period in the library, typing up the share database for my schools young enterprise thing (it is thee most boring task ever, but its finished now). ohh & i looked at dresses for the christmas dance with my friends. its not actually anywhere near christmas, its more early december, so i need to start thinking about a dress sooon!
last year i wore a ball gown & it was a massive annoyance (so many people stepped on/tripped over/ couldn't see past it.)

& then after school i went for a caramel latte with my wee friendy, who was feeling a bit down. i actually do believe caramel lattes (with three brown sugars) have magical healing powers.
ok, well maybe i dont seriously believe that, but they definitely help =)

ive stopped writing in my diary now, i tend to write on this instead. i was thinking how weird would it be if in ...5 years im still using the same blog & still writing on it regularly.
i wonder how long the longest-running blog has been going? does anyone know?

Sunday, November 9


"does harry redknapp have magical powers?"
im not really that into football.
i prefer watching rugby, snooker, tennis & sometimes darts

i got really into darts two years ago when it was on tv a month before exams & i was trying to find anything to do so i didnt have to revise all the time. yeah, & i actually managed to understand it. (same with snooker - i got into it a year ago, before exams once again... haa).

& i like playing.. badminton, swimming, golf (sometimes, had a few gos & im rubbish, but i like it) & netball.
ooh yeah, my netball team had our first game last friday & we won!! fair enough, we were against the juniors, & we had a height advantage, but they had a definite experience advantage (of about a year) & there were many more of them so new juniors kept getting subbed on all energetic. final score: 15-7. yayy!
to be honest, im really rubbish at sport, but i like it.

& oh my gosh poor diana, a la xfactor. hope shes ok to sing next week. my saturday was a little less sweet without hearing her sing.

poor little scotland, losing to the allblacks (although, bless em, we didnt really have a chance, lets be honest).

need to go do some homework for history (american civil war). its all joy & laughs, not. unfortunately its all battles.

i want to study politics, but i really dont know what i want to do after my degrees finished. i definitely dont want to be a politician. i thought maybe political research, or go into teaching secondary school politics/modern studies. but i dont know.. i feel like i should know, everyone always asks what do i want to do? i havent really figured it out yet, but when i tell people they get this look of complete apathy towards me like im a little hopeless case, which i hate.

in happier news, i love edward monkton. my friend got me his 'love' book & i er.. love it! =D
& i am currently beating my dad in a marathon game of monopoly! in fact, its not fun anymore, he's losing really badly & he wont let me help him out =( i feel terrible taking money from him.

anyway, il end with the poem from before sunrise. what a cool idea - a guy asking for a word & writing you a poem with that word in it. lovely =D

Daydream delusion, limousine eyelash
Oh baby with your pretty face
Drop a tear in my wineglass
Look at those big eyes
See what you mean to me
Sweet-cakes and milkshakes
I'm a delusion angel
I'm a fantasy parade
I want you to know what I think
Don't want you to guess anymore
You have no idea where I came from
We have no idea where we're going
Lodged in life
Like branches in a river
Flowing downstream
Caught in the current
I carry you
You'll carry me
That's how it could be
Don't you know me?
Don't you know me by now?
be happy.
Steph x

Isn't everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

work wasn't too bad at all. yesterday was really busy, but today was pretty quiet. in fact, i rather enjoyed it =) made a few mistakes, but yayy the lottery machine is now a friend! plus, we get to chose the music that gets played, which is nice, except i work with 2 michael jackson fanatics. ahh well, dancing slightly & scanning stuff at the same time is a nice way to spend 4 hours of my life, i think..
then i went to my mums & we had hot chocolate&marshmallows & a mince pie (mm). & then we watched 'before sunrise', i rented it out because ive wanted to see it for ages & it was amazing. i love the thought of meeting a random stranger on a train or bus & spending a whole day with them (as long as they're nice, of course). the falling in love would be a bonus. perhaps il start striking up conversations with people on buses & trains, in the hope that this might happen. or at least my journey might be a bit more exciting. julie delphy is beautiful in a natural & glowing way & ethan hawke is ok, i felt a bit squirmy when he came out with his cheesy-ish lines. although i think thats just me, i hate cheesiness, i kinda feel that its impersonal & unoriginal. ohh dear i sound picky, but if some guy got me a kinder bueno because he knew i loved them (which i do) that would be so much nicer than.. a red rose. i like wildflowers. & lavender. & honeysuckle. & if he knew me well, he'd get me some of them, instead of roses. again. which would i prefer - honeysuckle or a kinder bueno?? hmm...
still, that film totally made my day. i think my friend would love it, & i picked her for secret santa this year, so i guess thats her present sorted =) shes really into poetry too, i thought id go to the second hand book shop & try & find an old leatherbound poetry book, like milton or something. she likes milton. so do i. i wonder what that says about us?

soo now im on a hunt for 'before sunset'. such a pretty film.
i love festivals, i go to two local festivals every year (one of them has about 20,000 people, which apparently is small, but the other one has about 1500). & the coolest thing is that the really 'tiny' festival is by far the best one. theres this totally personal feel to it, & people recognise you & you never feel alone like you do at bigger festivals. anyway, the point of talking about festivals is that i love the atmosphere there, like you could just strike up a conversation with anyone, & its not a strange forward thing to do at all & you just chat to people. thats why i hate coming home after one, you have to keep restraining yourself from just talking randomly to members of the public who might get a little freaked out by it.
but before sunrise has inspired me to talk to people =) (im normally kinda shy, sadly).
my faith in strangers is sort of restored. i was called an idiot at work because i didnt know how much money you get for having 4numbers on the lottery. argg. but before sunrise is lovely. i would recommend it definitement.
hope everyone had a lovely weekend & smiled & laughed a lot.
happiness happiness
Steph x

Thursday, November 6

take a walk on the wild side

i know i said belle&sebastian were my favourite band, but i forgot about the velvet underground - i can never remember my favourite bands & music, its really annoying. love them. lovely lou reed.
urgh - i have a history essay to do for very very soon. ie. tomorrow. i love history, but i dont like having to write the essays. actually, i dont mind the essays but we do loads of them. my brain is frazzled already, & ive not got to uni yet.
frazzles. werent they a kind of crisp or something?
blue peter made me cry yesterday. i dont normally watch it, but it was on & i got caught up in it. it was about how children in bangladesh are suffering from malnutrition because the price of food is so high right now. we need to do something.

ahh i feel sad. im starting my job on saturday :s ive done my till training (im working in a 'local retail store' as im meant to say in my personal statement) but i missed my first shift (ohdearohdear - due to some major confusion, im so mad at myself about it!) so this saturday will be my first shift. the people seem nice, so it shouldnt be too bad. plus, theres someone in my year who works there, so at least il know someone.
im mainly worried about... someone asking for a plastic bag & me having silly fingers & not being able to pick one up & open it to put stuff in.
ohhh && the lottery machine which is basically the devil in machine form. i cant understand it at all :s

this weekend after work im going to make creme brulee with passionfruit topping & macaroons.
and then next week i might make lavender creme brulee (sounds strange but nice) & some mince pies =)
wish me luck with work (&essay, im going to dash off & write it)
peace 'n' love to all

Sunday, November 2

sleep the clock around

if i could be anything id love to be...:

  • politician (seriously, i love politics. maybe more of political researcher though)

  • florist

  • baker

  • gardener

  • lumberjack (hmm)

  • ballet dancer

  • photographer

  • UN/foreign aid worker

  • a faerie. definitement...

every birthday when i blew out my candles i would wish to have wings like a faerie. i always wanted to fly.

uhohh.. i shouldnt have written that - now it's never going to happen..

& now for some edward monkton appreciation:

(my friend has a pencilcase with one of his designs. i am insanely jealous).

watching bremner bird & fortune. & later? merlin - i missed it last night. and even later - homework =( &sleep.

i definitely have my priorities right. i wish i was a wizard.

toodlepip xxx

"the innocent words of a drunken child"

salut =+)
i decided to revamp my page a bit. i found the most amazing picture (which is now my header picture) & i finally figured out how to work this thing! (i like to think so anyway).

i went to the continental christmas fair & i got some cinnamon sticks & nutmeg & braided white garlic (although i would have loved pink garlic). & i attempted to salvage what was left of my higher french & converse a little with a french person. it was highly embarrassing (especially when i resorted back to english & he ignored me, so i had to say it in french.. haha). all i could manage was "je voudrais.... cinnamon! s'il vous plait"
twas lovely though. crepes!

crikey - got confused about my first shift of work and thought i was starting next week, but received a call to say i should have been working yday. my new boss is rather scary so im going to go apologise on monday & hope i still have my job (before ive really started it).

rubbish things::
toilet paper that is messy (ie. all scraggly)
mouldy tea
the smell & taste of milk (except when in tea)
heavy rain & wind
rumbly tummies & the constant thought of foodfoodfood
hair that will not grow long.

music i loove:
at the moment i cant stop listening to belle&sebastian who are my faaavourite band ever. i like 'carmensita' by devendra banhart, except i can only sing along with the 'la la laa' part as its in spanish (this however is probably a good thing). ermm i can never remember the bands i like. ive just discovered voxtrot, who are kinda like belle&sebastian. lykke li was initially forced on me by a friend & now i rather like her a lot.. il basically listen to anything.
its weird - if i like a song/band straightaway then i tend to go off them after a month or two, but if i dont like a song/band it grows on me & i love it forever. ohh & i like the coral. cheerful =)

i have no idea how to tag people. im still a total stranger to this blogging business.

my favourite smell ever is: the smell of orange left on your hands after peeling an orange. fresh baking smell. walking in a field in the middle of nowhere when your nose&ears are freezing & it hurts to breathe because the air is so cold&sharp. actually thats more a feeling than a smell. but i love it.

i love open fires & thick woolly socks. wellyboots&puddles&snow. hot chocolate. mulled wine. bobblyhats. winter!
fridays after school when i go to scottish pantry (cafe) for caramel lattes or cinema with the wunderkid (besteverfriendeverever).

&& i meant to say in the last post - massive thank you to the tea drinking english rose & daisy chain dreams for my actual first evercomments. its a very special moment for me =D haha!

ohhh and i love letters. receiving mail (even if its rubbish mail) & sending mail.
keep smiling.. Sx

Friday, October 31


weell happy halloween to everyone =)

my halloween plans are no longer existant, unfortunately, because they were great plans. i was supposed to dress as a bat and jump out at innocent children & people who were on a ghost tour. and i was so looking forward to it. and then after that i was meant to be going to see 'quantum of solace' but my head was really sore so i didnt bother.

mais maintenant je suis bonne, et

Thursday, October 30


i would be a vegetarian if i lived on my own and had to cook all my own food. i prefer baking. i love baking.

my blow torch finally arrived so il be forcing creme brulees on my friends soon :) i found this cool recipe for lavender creme brulee, which sounds like it could be lovely.

currently using my dads laptop to write this, our computer is displaced to the conservatory atm, and is internet-less, which means i cant upload my own photos (however shabbby they may be). which is a bit of pain. il take loooads so then when i get back to the old computer there will be showers and thunderstorms 0f my photos.

until then i sourced this (pretty strange) photo of me avec friends at a goodbye-dinner for a friend. thats the most rubbish thing about getting to the end of school, having to say goodbye to people.

is anyone still in contact with most of their high school friends? i need to know there's hope! people are amazing.

i wont even point myself out. safe to say, i the crazy looking one. (not the crazy looking one at the front though, hahaa poor monkle). it was a really nice night.
i am seriously excited - on saturday im going to a continental christmas fair, where there's going to be little stalls with people from france & germany & italy & spain selling christmasssy things. & crepes!! is it posisble for anyone to resist the magicalness of the crepe?? i think not.
so school today was absolutely freezing, and i yearned for hot chocolate and a warm mince pie.
the heating & electricity is being a bit dodgy there.
& when i got off my tremendous bus (im learning to drive, but i much prefer buses and trains, i think im a really shy person who cant live without people..) i looked to the clouds & saw the coolest shapes. i saw an animal with the head of a dragon & the body of a dolphin, & a duck on the back of a wolf.
why do people blog? not trying to be nosy, i think im just curious. i think i do it because im too lazy to write everything down in a diary, i think so many things my hand starts to hurt.
i write the funny way, like a hold my pencil/pen a strange way, and it rests on my ring finger, so i have the horriblest lump on my right ring finger. i call the lump ronald.
and i hate my feet.
and reverse parking. gosh its bad. ohh and roundabouts, and accelerating quickly (im secretly an old lady). i enjoy driving slowly so i can gaze at the clouds & the hills & the scenery, its lovely around where i live =)
anyway, im off to do some modern studies hw on china. very interesting, i love politics =)

Tuesday, October 28


i love writing lists. my diary from last year is basically a list-a-day.


today was a lovely day. people are so nice & i lovelove friends soo much. they know you so well they're super-sensitised to your emotions & can tell straightaway if you're not feeling great or anything. its amazing.

i got my 'the snowman' advent calendar =D its great. i got it in M&S and (i am 17) I was hoping that i looked old so the guy at the checkout wouldnt think i was buying it for myself, maybe for my younger brother or sister or something, but the first thing he said to me was "Ooh you're very organised, aren't you? Not wanting to miss a single day??" & so my plan was foiled & i hung my head and mumbled "yes". once again i must accept that i am a seventeen year old girl trapped in a permanently five-year-old girls body. its aawful.

the house is all cold atm because my dads away & i have to keep the fire going, but i always forget to put logs on it until i suddenly realise that im really cold & by then its gone out. argh. so i am finding immense comfort in my tea =) &&mince pies <

i would totally eat them all year round, except then they wouldnt be special anymore. like hot cross buns & christmas cake & saying i love you. have to save it so its extra special when you do.

peace&happiness to all. & il end on a list..

Things That Make Life Worthwhile:

  1. Clouds
  2. Literature & Poetry & Art & Music & Film & Photography
  3. Cupcakes & Baking
  4. Faeries
  5. Scarves & Cardigans
  6. Snow
  7. Sunshine
  8. Christmas
  9. Glitter & Sparkles
  10. Tea & Hot Chocolate
  11. Light Rain
  12. Hugs & Kisses
  13. Flowers & Gardens & Fields
  14. Smiles
  15. Secret Notes
  16. Marshmallows
  17. Stars & The Moon
  18. Camping & Festivals
  19. Portaloos (...not)
  20. Hand Sanitiser

Monday, October 27


tea =)
i kinda realised after i'd posted that below that i should probably explain 'tout le monde'. firstly, i love french, although ive not taken it in sixth year at advanced higher (errmm i always get confused about what the english equivalents are, i think advanced highers are as levels? and sixth year is the last year... if that makes any sense). soo yeah, i love french, and i was going to study it at uni, but i changed my mind.. im now headed towards studying politics with history maybe.
and umm i live in scotland, which i really really like, even though it rains a bit, and its kinda gloomy sometimes.

but the days when it looks like this ^^ you realise the bad weather is totally worth it =)

soo i digress.... (constantly, by the way)

i love writing lists. i love tea (mm..incase it wasnt sorta obvious) & biscuits. i love people, & friends & family, & i love love. i love happiness & smiles. i love walking up hills & bathing in the silence & tall grass. i love snow & christmas (best time of year). i love cloudspotting & seeing shapes. i love running in the crazy way. i love baking. i love cinemas.

& muchos happiness to everyone =)


erm.. weell this is the first post ever. not entirely sure how to work this thing, am slowly getting to grips with it. and hopefully this blog might become respectable in the near future :)
till then, peace love & happiness.. <3